So Mom bought this green plastic mini step stool at a Bi-Lo store in Greenville, South Carolina. I'm guessing that it once served the purpose (perhaps it still does when I'm not around) of aiding her to reach things that are about five inches higher than her up-stretched (is that a word?) arm's length.
Anyway, when I was first dating James over four years ago, he and I witnessed a fantastically hilarious scene together. When we got to my mom's apartment to visit the next day, he wanted to tell my mom all about it. (I'm still wondering what he was thinking. Did he not see Princess stamped on my forehead the very first moment he laid eyes on me?) I interjected: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing, dude? My mom, my story."
Mom handled my need to be the center of attention in one of her traditionally smooth ways. (Improbable? Yes. Impossible? Apparently not.) She somehow has this pool of resources in her head that she can refer to and pick from when she needs to simultaneously apologize for me and put me up on that pedestal that I will totally beg and pant for. No, I'm not embarrassed! Are you kidding me?!
She dragged out the Bi-Lo stool and told me to step on top of it, "Princess," to give my speech.
So I did. James was horrified. You could just see it in his fresh-to-Mary's-world eyes. And I proceeded to tell my mom my story. And when I got done? Yeah, she totally clapped. James's eyes were searching for a quick escape. (I do wonder why he's still here. Oh, that's right--I'm a really fabulous girl when you add everything up.)
Since that day, when I pull what my mom calls one of my "It's all about me, it's all about I, it's all about number one, oh my, me, my" stunts, she pulls out the Bi-Lo stool and prompts me (it really doesn't take much, certainly you've gathered that by now) to stand on it. So when deciding what to title my blog? . . .
And you know what I realized after I fell in love with my title? That stool is synonymous with fecal matter, toilet, bowel movement, potty, and crap. Perhaps. But I won't let it deter me.
God bless.
Quotation of the Day:
"I am the nucleus--you are but mere orbs." ~ Duane C. Heller ~ (aka my brother)
About Me
- ~Murr~
- Is it politically correct to say that I have a Christian mother's spirit with a Jewish mother's mouth? Probably not. I'll worry about rewording that when convention becomes my fan. Or vice versa.
©2008 Atop My Bi-Lo Stool | DezembroI by TNB
5 comments:
hello mary!
AND . . . WE'RE UP AND RUNNING! Hi yourself, Nate Dawg! Where's your photo-yo?!
WOW! Hi Mary! This is a really awsome blog page you started. I can not wait to see how many readers/fans you are going to get. I will be sure to check in each day to see all the comments. I can not wait to see other people's post's.
Thanks, James! I appreciate your enthusiasm! What did you think about the blog post? You were one of the stars in it (hard as it is to believe that I'd slide over and make room). ;D
I remember that day at your Moms and I thought it was pretty funny when your mom busted out the stool! Ofcourse I had no idea that she was part serious which only makes it that much more funny now! You will always be my princess and love you just for being one. You are the best love daddy!
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